I finally gathered up all the loose change around the house and took it to the coin-counting machine at the supermarket. Bringing it over there was like walking with a ball and chain. It must have weighed 50 pounds.

Hearing the machine churn while it counted the change, coin by coin, was a truly invigorating experience.

The tally:

51 quarters

770 dimes

510 nickels

5,075 pennies

Total: $166.00

What I received after the machine took its percentage: $151.23

I went straight to the lottery store and played both figures. Then I bought a new toilet seat. Not the kind that's clear with floating coinage. Plain white.

It seemed somehow appropriate.

My numbers did not win.